Working From Home Lyrics
Peter J Hopkins  Working From Home
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Lyrics

Act 1

Maple Brown & Sugar

Maple Brown & Sugar are two girls who would never let me see them in the shower.
They must've felt real dirty, I remember, 'cause they used to shower nearly every hour.
I could hear the water running from my dorm room down the hall,
And I could hear the girlies giggling in their bathroom through the wall.
Every morning I had science class where I would go to learn about the periodic table.
I would prop my head up in my hands and snort and sniff and try to stay awake if I was able.
I'd been kept awake because of all the noise the night before,
And it's kind of hard to sleep with your ear against a door.
Woah, Maple Brown & Sugar, won't you give me a peek.
You know, it makes me weak in the knees. The curiosity is killing me. Please,
I wanna hear the things that you say that make you laugh hysterically every day.
I wanna see the things that you do that make it so much fun in the bubbly blue.
Maple Brown & Sugar are two girls who I never saw once I got out of college.
Though I graduated summa cum, I never took a class where you could get that kind of knowledge.
I would crawl into my bed and turn out the light,
And receive my education every night.
Chorus
So many years have come and gone. I mow the lawn at the house I call my home.
I really can't complain, 'cause I'm staying sane, living life here all alone.
Then one day through my window drift two voices soft and sweet.
Maple Brown & Sugar moving in across the street.
Oh man.
Chorus

Peter J Hopkins playing a keyboard and singing

Imaginary Girlfriend

She turned her head away to say goodbye.
She didn't even look me in the eye.
It's happened to me so many times before,
And every time, I think, “This time, for sure.”
I guess it's best to be direct to find the way to my objective.
Not too long 'till I suspect that something's wrong.
From the girl that I've selected come those words, I get rejected.
Head back home dejected, feeling like King Kong.
I ruined everything. Can't figure out what's wrong with me.
I never get it right. I guess I'll have to spend the night.
With my imaginary girlfriend, my imaginary girlfriend.
She's as pretty as can be, and she's waiting just for me 'cause she loves me how I am.
She don't have some other plan.
She don't want no other man.
Everybody gets a broken heart.
It doesn't stop those feelings when they start.
A man can only take just so much pain,
But someone's always running through my brain.
No matter how I try and try, I'll never be a lucky guy.
I get my hopes built up, then they come crashing down.
Did I rush? Was I impulsive? Do I smell? Am I repulsive?
What's my problem? Why do real girls always frown?
I messed it up again. What else did I expect to do?
My heart is on the mend, so for tonight, I'll just pretend.
She's my imaginary girlfriend, my imaginary girlfriend.
I can smell her sweet perfume, and it dissipates the gloom here alone up in my room.
Then she whispers in my ear, but she isn't really here.
She's my imaginary girlfriend, my imaginary girlfriend.
Runs her fingers through my hair, and she gives me loving care, though she isn't even there.
Then I squeeze her to me tight, and I hold her through the night.
She's my imaginary girlfriend, my imaginary girlfriend.
And I tell her, “I love you,” and she says she loves me too, and I kiss her in my dreams.
It's as crazy as it seems. What's a lonely guy to do?

Jupiter Chasing Venus

Saw Jupiter chasing Venus across the night sky,
And I don't need no telescope to tell me why.
Maybe we're both looking for the same thing.
Yeah, I guess we're both looking for the same thing,
Me and the Planet King.
(Please, please) Don't even know what he's asking for.
(Please, please) Don't even know what he needs.
(Please, please) It's just a feeling deep inside, you see.
Just...please. Just...please.
She's just so bright, don't lose sight in the glare.
And man, it's so frustrating when you run and you run and you can't get there.
I bet it'd feel nice to hold her, but she's long, long gone,
'Cause while Jupiter's chasing Venus, Venus is chasing the Sun.
(Please, please) Don't even know what I'm asking for.
(Please, please) Don't even know what I need.
(Please, please) It's just a feeling deep inside of me.
Just...please. Just...please.
Long ago, he was called the Planet King.
Well, he may not be the biggest, and he may not be the brightest,
But he knows who he is. He knows he exists.
Chorus

Little T Shirt

You were walking on the beach, lookin' perky and pert
In your cutoff shorts and your little T shirt.
You pretended not to notice when you caught my eye,
And you pretended not to see me when you walked on by.
Now, you don't need no money, girl, to take away my blues.
I'd rather see you in your sneakers than some high heeled shoes.
Don't need no jewelry or no makeup, 'cause you look just fine.
Girl, you're enough to make a fella wanna stand in line.
Then you snuck up behind me and said,
“This is a hold-up! Hands up! Reach for the sky!
You better give me all your sugar if you don't wanna die!”
There's no one rougher. Cuff her, she's stolen my heart,
But then you better cuff me to her so we're never apart.
I said, just lock us up and leave us all alone in the dark.
We traveled for miles, not knowing where the other was.
I hear you, I smell you. You make my senses buzz.
No makeup, no perfume. Bad breath and sweat and dirt.
It's you there, I don't care. Just wear that tight little T shirt.
I can see everything I wanna see. You can have everything you want of me.
(Don't get me wrong) I love your heart and your mind, everything inside of you,
But you can't blame a guy for lovin' your outside too!
We're on a crime spree, scot-free, breakin' the law,
But we ain't hurtin' anybody, so let's have us a ball.
And now we're laid out, just like we've been knocked in the head.
We gave each other all our sugar, now we're better than dead.
We killed each other for some sugar here alone in your bed.
I waited and doubted, not sure if you were real.
We couldn't have planned this. I guess it's something you have to feel.
I'm ready, You're ready. Girl, you can more than flirt.
Please don't keep a stitch on, except that tight little T shirt.
I can see everything I wanna see. You can have everything you want of me.
(This can't be wrong) I love the shape that it gives to your torso.
I can't believe it, but it's making me want you even more so!
I can see everything I wanna see. You can have everything you want of me.
(There's nothing wrong) You haven't got anything to be ashamed of.
It's just that T shirt fits your body like a perfect little glove!
“This is a holdup! Hands up!” You told me a lie.
I gave you every drop of sugar and you still let me die.
Now there's an awful lot of sugar in that sweet little pie.
We gave each other all our sugar here alone in your bed.
We killed each other for some sugar, now we're better than dead.

Stank Bug

Stank Bug
Crawlin' up into my bed
Stank bug
You sprayed your stank up on my head
Stank bug
Flyin' into my TV
Stank bug
Why you gotta bother me?
Stank Bug
I will catch you in a jar
Stank Bug
So you will not go very far
Stank Bug
Then I will flush you down the drain
Stank Bug
You 'bout to drive me half insane
Stank Bug
Spreadin' that stank all over the rug
The stank bug is an invasive species that came from southeast Asia,
And the way the stank bug spreads that stank is bound to amaze ya.
You're brown. You're marmorated.
Feels like I've been invaded.

Post College No Man's Land

Yeah, back when I was in high school I had the whole plan in my head.
I'd meet the perfect girl in college, and after graduating we'd be wed.
We'd get a big house in the country, and have a dozen kids, maybe more.
I'd find a great career, and every single year we'd vacation on the eastern shore.
Things didn't exactly turn out how I'd planned. So now I'm stuck in this post college no man's land.
Well, the time flies when you're falling, and you're staring thirty in the face.
With every start, you feel like you're stalling, and you're living at your parents' place,
And you've never had a real job, and your car makes this clunky sound.
You wanna run away, 'cause every single day you're getting kicked into the ground.
You look around and just don't understand how you got stuck in this post college no man's land.
I used to have the whole thing figured out. I used to have the whole thing figured out.
I used to have this whole thing figured out. Well, now I've got a new thing figured out.
I don't need that house in the country, just an apartment with a view,
And I don't want a dozen kids no more, I think I'd settle for one or two.
And if we go to Ocean City, we'll just camp out on the beach (Assateague!).
I guess the dreams have gotten smaller now, but the dream's within my reach.
And though my face is kinda funny, and my clothes are out of style,
And my sense of humor's crazy, I know that I can make you smile.
And though I don't have any money, and I can't afford a ring,
They say that love is free, I'll give you all of me, and all the love that I can bring.
So baby, maybe if you take my hand, I know we'll get through this post college no man's land.
So baby, baby, please just take my hand so we can get through this post college no man's land.

Act 2

Murder Mountain

Mama went up to Murder Mountain.
Mama went up to Murder Mountian.
She went to Murder Mountain and she's never comin' back again.
Papa went up to Murder Mountain.
Papa went up to Murder Mountain.
He went to Murder Mountain and he's never comin' back again.
Let's go up to Murder Mountain.
Let's go up to Murder Mountain.
Let's go to Murder Mountain and we're never comin' back again.

Peter J Hopkins playing bass and scowling

Red Mage

Red Mage, you're my man. Let me use you, if I can.
With a Fighter, strong and right, and the Mages, Black and White.
We could LIT some purple GrImps, and they'll run away with limps,
And some Creeps and GrOgres, too. We'll have fun, just me and you.
Red Mage, won't you save the day, because my Fighter needs some backup in a mage-or way.
We're goin' down and it's time now to grab the LUTE and play.
Red Mage, won't you save the day.
The Fiends of Earth and Sky, Fire, Water, all must die,
And Chaos, who reigns supreme in the Temple of Fiends.
Red Mage, you can do it all. Before you, they'll surely fall.
With your strength and magic hand, and the feather in your band.
Chorus
Though the other Mages cast all the spells that really last,
and the Black Belt, Fighter too, are stronger both by far than you,
It's the Red Mage that I choose. With him I can never lose.
He's my only MYSTIC KEY. Oh, won't you come along with me.
Chorus

She's Done

Take down the decorations and put them all away.
Save them for another year. I know that I've got nothing left to say.
The holidays are over, and everybody's had their fun.
I catch her staring out the window. The winter seems so cold and dark and long.
She's done. She spent the whole night awake.
She's done. Yeah, she's had all she can take,
And I had a million chances, and wasted each one. Now she's done.
A long and lonely car ride where no one speaks at all.
I wonder what she's thinking. Like silent stars, the snow begins to fall.
Though part of me is desperate to make her change her mind,
And feel the way she used to, a part of me is relieved it's all behind.
Chorus
No more fights. No more nights of stubborn pride.
No more wrongs and no more rights and no more making everybody take a side.
Now she's done. No more tears. No more lies through clenched teeth.
I'll take the blame for all the anger and the...the downward spiral of confusion.
Chorus

Real

Girls. One girl. That girl. Oh yes, oh no. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
It's the worst time for me to fall in love with you.
You. Your voice. Your hands. Your laugh, your lips, it's enough to drive a man insane.
I'd be in heaven if this wasn't such a royal pain.
'Cause your boyfriend, he just doesn't get you.
So baby, run to me as fast as your feet will let you.
Hey, girl.
Why don't you dump that guy that you're with right now,
And take my hand and I'll show you how
Love was meant to feel. What you have with him is fake, but what you've got with me is real.
Calm. Stay calm. Relax. Chill out, keep cool, girl, you never wanted me before,
And the worst part is that I want you, baby, even more.
But. What if. If you, and me, could be, be together every day and night.
Tell the truth girl. Has anybody ever felt so right?
And though it's just a little scary, I know it's not imaginary.
Hey, girl.
Chorus
When we woke up in the morning light, I thought it would be weird,
But then it turned out that it wasn't weird at all.
We just smiled at each other, 'cause the thing that we just did
Was what we wanted to be doing all along.
All along.
We already crossed that line.
All Along.
We may as well finish what we started.
All along.
And though it's just a little scary, I know it's not imaginary.
Hey, girl.
Chorus
So come with me for goodness sake. Your boyfriend is a big mistake,
'Cause what you have with him is fake, but what you've got with me is real.

Find It, Keep It

You see all of your friends walking around, holding hands with their lovers,
And you wonder, “Why can't that be me?
I've done everything right, and it just doesn't seem to matter.”
So you try to be patient, 'cause you know these things take time.
Yeah, forever. So you go out every day,
And you try to be nice, but it's all just useless chatter.
You've spent one too many lonely nights.
I guess love isn't in the Bill of Rights.
If you find it, keep it.
Feed it and water it and, well, what do you know.
That love might grow. That love might grow.
You know all of your friends are rolling around, having fun with their lovers
Under the covers, and it drives you half insane,
So you talk to yourself, just to feel like you've got someone.
And they don't understand just how good they've really got it
while they're complaining, 'cause at least they're not alone,
So you tell 'em they're wrong, and they look at you like you're the dumb one.
You would die for a piece of what they have,
The neutral, the good, and the bad.
Chorus
It can be kinda hard when you look at a seed to tell what kind of a plant that seed will be.
Could make a beautiful flower, or a big old tree, or a prickly cactus. You'll have to wait and see.
Oh, just wait and see.
Chorus

Peter J Hopkins lounging around the house

Driving, Driving

Took a drive to the Dollar Store, but I can't buy nothin' because I'm way too poor.
That's OK, because I'm free. I got my truck and I got a friend and I got me.
Driving on the interstate, goin' places, I can't wait.
Think of all the things we'll do on the highway, me and you.
And I'm gonna go driving, driving on the streets of town
With the radio turned up and the windows down,
And I'm gonna go driving, driving 'till I find a little luck.
I'm gonna go driving, driving in my truck.
Then I drove down to the park, and when the sun went down, I sat there in the dark.
Ate a sandwich beneath the moon, and in the quiet there I hummed a little tune.
We could plan a trip some day, drive across the U.S.A.
Think of all the things we'll see. What could happen, what could be.
And I'm gonna go driving, driving 'till I find myself,
Out in the ocean on the continental shelf,
And I'll watch the sharks and stingrays play with fish out in the muck.
I'm gonna go driving, driving in my truck.
We'll drive real slow with the seats laid back,
And a funky ass beat on the big bass rack.
Look real cool in a low ride.
Let the ladies hop on for a slow ride.
Be driving 'till the sun comes up. All Night.
And I'm gonna go driving, driving 'till I find my soul,
To the event horizon of a big black hole.
Then I'm gonna have to speed away before I get caught in its suck.
I'm gonna go driving, driving in my truck.
I'm gonna go driving, driving 'till I find my way,
Drive almost anywhere and nearly every day,
And when a friend rides shotgun, we'll have fun and run amok.
I'm gonna go driving, driving in my truck.

Copyright 2013 Peter J Hopkins. All Rights Reserved.